TATTOO YOU
Awhile back we made these bitchin' Six Shooter fake tattoos based on classic early tattoo art. Our pal Andy Washington was so inspired by these pumpin' tatts, that he ran with the idea and got some bonafide ink based on the idea! Wow, that's dedication! Check out the pics:
gallery.me.com
So, of course, this has prompted us to realize the necessity of throwing a tattoo based contest! So here it is: the first person who gets a full back piece tattoo of Justin Rutledge's face, gets a free CD! HA HA HA HA!!! Just kidding (but if you do wanna do that, we will give you a free cd).
How about this instead: we want you to get artistic! Sketch up a Six Shooter based tattoo flash design, whether it be one of our fabulous artists rendered as a pin-up or sailor or something, or a classic tattoo style rendition of our logo, or even a picture of the Tasmanian devil wearing a Six Shooter toque and smoking a doob! Send the design to us, and whichever one we deem to be the best (based on our completely subjective judging criteria), wins a wonderful prize!!! Yaaah!
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CONTEST! MISSING ROYAL WOOD? FIND HIM HERE AT HIS SECRET SHOW
Since the release of his stunning EP Lost & Found, Royal Wood has been selling out all kinds of shows all over the place with all sorts of fanfare. Seriously duuuude. I have never seen Hugh's Room Nosferatu and dance to Lady Gaga!" etc). He'll be playing a secret show on Wednesday, June 3. (Ok, so it's not entirely secret that he's playing said show, but you're never going to find out where it's taking place unless you enter in to win tickets, or maybe, but not really, text "booya" to *royalisthrowingabigsecretrave) You can most definitely enter to win tickets through NOW Magazine, Torontoist or by e-mailing your best getting lost or being found story to caitlin@sixshooterrecords.com with LOST & FOUND in the subject line. Once when I was a lil' kid, I got lost trying to find the bathroom on Laguna beach. True story, it was traumatizing.
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TOP TEN!
Our contest winner is Stephen Chessor! We liked his entry the best because he took the trouble to punctuate and capitalize as per the album artwork. Yaaaah Stephen! This makes me want to go re-organize my record collection based on capitalization of titles! Here are his top ten:
THIRD-PORTISHEAD
WAY to NORMAL-Ben Folds
CHEERLEADER-THE NEW ODDS
IN FIELD & TOWN-HAYDEN
los manilicious-hawksley workman
northern soul-54(bullet)40
LOVE AT THE END OF THE WORLD-SAM ROBERTS
city of sirens-SKYDIGGERS
MODERN GUILT-BECK
Cartography-The Buttless Chaps
Thanks to everyone who entered.
Ramesh Soekhoe, Bertus Groothandel & Distributie B.V., Rotterdam:
01 Gutter Twins - Saturnalia
02 Firewater - The Good Life
03 Brain Police - Beyond the Wasteland
04 Black Mountain - In The Future
05 Lucinda Williams - Little Honey
06 King Hobo - King Hobo
07 Madrugada - Madrugada
08 Opeth - Watershed
09 Eli Paperboy Reed - Roll With You
10 NQ Arbuckle - XOK
DVD: Tesla - Comin' Atcha Live
Concert: Eli Reed & The True Loves (kroeg concert)
Overschat: AC/DC - Black Ice
Michael Elves, CJUM:
1. Russian Circles - Station -Suicide Squeeze
2. Nomo - Ghost Rock - Ubiquity
3. Azeda Booth - In Flesh Tones - Absolutely Kosher (cdn.)
4. Brightblack Morning Light - Motion To Rejoin - Matador
5. Tigerrr Beat - Don't Bother Me While I'm Doing Magic Š Independent (cdn.)
6. Black Mountain - In The Future - Jagjaguwar (cdn.)
7. Raphael Saadiq - The Way I See It - Columbia
8. Gang Gang Dance - Saint Dymphna - Social Registry
9. Steve Reid Ensemble - Daxaar - Domino
10. Katie Stelmanis - Join Us - Blocks Recording Co. (cdn.)
John Papamarko:
1. WOLF PARADE At Mount Zoomer
2. BON IVER For Emma, Forever Ago
3. PORTISHEAD Third
4. FLEET FOXES s/t
5. LOS CAMPESINOS we are beautiful, we are doomed
6. M83 Saturday = Youth
7. OKKERVIL RIVER The Stand Ins
8. PLANTS & ANIMALS Parc Avenue
9. CONSTANTINES Kensington Heights
10. TV ON THE RADIO Dear Science
Richard Nolet:
In no particular order:
* Black Mountain, In The Future
* Kings Of Leon, Only By The Night
* MGMT, Oracular Spectacular
* TV on the Radio, Dear Science
* Flight of the Conchords, Flight of the Conchords
* Third, Portishead
* Narrow Stairs, Death Cab For Cutie
* Modern Guilt, Beck
* My Morning Jacket, Evil Urges
* Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes
Runners-up:
* Elvis Costello, Momofuku
* Luke Doucet, Blood's Too Rich
* Lastly, I know this isn't an album, but if I had a recording of the Six Shooter Show at Bluesfest, that would definitely be my favorite live recording of the year.
Tim:
1. Luke Doucet - Blood's Too Rich
2. Danny Michel - Feather, Fur & Fin
3. Meiko - Meiko
4. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
5. Jay Nash - The Things You Think You Need
6. Bend Sinister - Stories of Brothers, Tales of Lovers
7. Matthew Barber - Ghost Notes
8. Elliott Brood - Mountain Meadows (This one probably moves up the list by the end of the year, but I just got it at the Knitting Factory show so it hasn't gotten enough plays yet)
9. Slipknot - All Hope Is Gone
10. The Hereafter - It Doesn't Matter Why It Is, It Doesn't Matter If It's Wrong
Dan Crowther:
10: Justin Rutledge - Man Decending
(Went to see Melissa McClelland perform last June, but stayed for The Rutledge)
9: The Spades - Let it Grow
(Went to see Matt Good Perform last June, but got blown away by the Spades)
8: David Myles - On the Line
(Went to see Damhnait Doyle last June (it was a busy month), but was won over by his folksy East Coast music)
7: Portishead - Third
(Such a unique sound)
6: Jenny Lewis - Acid Tounge
(The album name really says it all)
5: Blue Rodeo - Blue Road
(I won't lie, the only reason I bought this was cause Melissa McClelland did 2 songs on this...yet the album still ranks 5 which says something)
4: David Usher - Wake up and Say Goodbye
(Man, his music can really get you going in the morning)
3: Damhnait Doyle - Lights Down Low
(Among the most amazing voices I've ever heard)
2: Luke Doucet - Blood's Too Rich
(Already got my tickets for the concert in Feb) and by far without a doubt the number one album to come out this year is
1: Matthew Good - Live at Massey Hall
(Seriously, drop what you're doing and go get this, you won't be sorry).
Kristen Rutherford:
Fleet Foxes - self titled
Luke Doucet - Blood's Too Rich
The Moondoggies - Don't Be A Stranger
She and Him - Volume One
Sigur Ros - Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust
The Raconteurs - Consolers of the Lonely
Walkmen - You and Me
Nick Cave - Dig Lazarus Dig
The Grand Archives - Grand Archives
Black Mountain - In The Future
Steve Shikaze:
Death Cab for Cutie - Narrow Stairs
Jason Mraz - We Sing We Dance We Steal Things
Kings of Leon - Only By The Night
Hawksley Workman - Between the Beautifuls
Hawksley Workman - Los Manlicious
Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - Lie Down in the Light
My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges
The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
William Fitzsimmons - The Sparrow and the Crow
Too Many Sisters - Non Barking Dog
Trix VanEgmond:
10. Asking for Flowers, Kathleen Edwards
9. Parc Avenue, Plants and Animals
8. If your Memory Serves You Well, Serena Ryder
7. Gossip in the Grain, Ray Lamontagne,
6. Life and Limb, Rob Szabo
5. The Baroness, Sarah Slean
4. Mount Meadow, Elliott Brood
3. Field Recordings from the City, Sheltered in Sound
2. Ghost Notes, Matthew Barber
1. Man Descending, Justin Rutledge
Oh, but if I could add some 2007 releases I'd be jumping and shouting about Craig Cardiff's Goodnight, Go Home; Wil's December; Nathan's Netwerk; Royal Wood's Good 'nuff day; Ruth Minnikin's Folk Art and of course Luke's Blood's Too Rich.
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TOP TEN!
It is most definitely that time of year! Top ten lists! Our pals in Shout Out Out Out Out have already stepped up to the plate and posted each member's top ten albums of 2008 on their mypsazz blog. Check it out at www.myspace.com/shoutoutoutoutout
What does this mean to you? Contest! Here are the rules:
We want to know what has been on repeat in your stereo for the last year. Send us your top ten albums of 2008. All albums must have been released in 2008, re-issues are excluded, and you can include up to a maximum of 5 runners up. We will draw the names of 3 people who send in their lists and send them a special present in the mail from Shauna Claus. Padding your list with Six Shooter releases wonÕt help ya win, but it will make us like you more, and hell we canÕt blame ya for having good taste!
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Six Shooter and Small Places
Six Shooter Records is excited to contribute a Prize Package stuffed with tickets to our most electrifying live shows in Toronto this fall in support of Amnesty International's Small Places initiatives.
Enter your bid to win 2 tickets to each of these sure-to-be sold-out shows:
Martin Tielli w/ Jenn Grant - Hugh's Room, September 27
Christine Fellows - The Music Gallery, October 16
Shout Out Out Out Out w/ Stereo Image - Lee's Palace, October 30
Hawksley Workman - Massey Hall, November 28
We'll also include the following fancy Six Shooter swag:
2 Hawksley Workman "Fatty Says Dance" t-shirts
A CD pack including all participating artists
Other great Six Shooter gifts
Auction site: ebay.ca
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PODCONTEST
Well, our contest for this issue is fairly simple! We know that you have already rushed off to listen to the Bluesfest edition of our podcast, and you've heard all about what the blues mean to our team... now we want to hear what the blues mean to you! Our completely subjective favorite will win a glorious prize! And no aping anyone else's story, we've been rocking our own podcast on repeat for weeks now, so we know it inside out! Who me? Well, to me the blues is all about that sweet Eiffel 65 jam... da ba dee da ba da...
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NEW WORD
Our highly astute Six Shooter vocabulary researchists have uncovered a long lost sea scroll in their mailbox that looks oddly like a real estate flyer. On this magical document a BRAND NEW WORD was discovered, and that word is... BUNGALOW!!!! Ok, so maybe bungalow isn't a new word, but it sure is a funny one. Like, how in tha hell does the word bungalow describe a bunglow?! I ain't gittin it at all!!!
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New word alert...sort of
So, the other day I was looking at the word "Romans", and it struck me for about half a second that it should maybe be "Romen". Now, I know that Roman really just means "from Rome" or "of Rome", or "in the style of Rome", and doesn't actually refer to Romanity, but come on! The plural "Romans" generally does refer to humans from Rome. Wouldn't it be rad if the plural was Romen? Or at least Romyn? Doesn't Romans sound a little silly? Who wanna mob wit? me? So yeah, I guess the new word is really just a new plural for those with the patience to explain what the hell they are talking about when they try to use it in conversation. Try these if you dare:
Romen
Romanity
Romyn
Wromen
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New word finally announced!
The nerds over at Six Shooter labs have finally formulated a new word, which for once is specific to one of our artists! Wait for it.....
Pierouette
definition: Ford Pier spinning around.
example: "Dude, I went to see Ford play at the Horseshoe and he totally did like a hundred pierouettes, he must be dizzy to the max!"
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FORD PIER VOCABULARY CONTEST
The winner of the Ford Pier vocabulary contest goes to Jonathan Fazakerley, who came up with the following
definitions of words found in Ford Pier lyrics:
Fealty = Fidelity to one's lord
Clemency = A merciful, kind, or lenient act.
Diaphanous = Of such fine texture as to be transparent or translucent
Perpend = To consider carefully; ponder.
His response when announcing that he won!
...
"WOW!!!
I never suspected... I mean I just never thought it would happen to me... I have so many people to thank ... (crinkle crinkle) I would like to thank Jesus for always being there in those terribly dark painful hours... and I would also like to thank Shauna de Cartier for being there at the happy times.. We did it Shauna, we finally did it!! I would also like to thank Six Shooter Records, without them there would be no side walks for children to walk on. Good work to all of you!! You are all saints of the highest order."
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GET SCHOOLED IN GOULD WITH ROYAL WOOD
The piano is known as the "King of the Musical Instruments," and Royal Wood can give you 88 reasons why the piano is the most majestic of all the ways to make music.
Buy a ticket to Royal's show at Hugh's Room on August 14 before August 1 and you'll be entered to win a prize that will bring you Bach to the days of sitting, back straight, fingertips hovering over middle C, ready to launch in to a stirring rendition of chopsticks. But wait! Royal can save you from repeating that terrible rite of passage. Our offer is a lesson with Royal Wood himself, the new king of chords, the master of scales, the ace of arpeggios.
Call the Hugh's Room ticketline at 416 531 6604 or warm up those fingers by typing hughsroom.com or sixshooterrecords.com and learn to be a maestro, or at least learn a thing or two about the grand art of playing the piano. Give your name upon ticket purchase for a chance to win. There's the hard way, there's the Steinway and then there's the easy way to get lesson from a pro.
Entering this contest is as simple as a round of Heart and Soul!
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CALL FOR MOUSTACHES
The Wet Secrets recently took home CBC Radio 3's "Best Song Title" with their track, "Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache, Asshole." We need your handlebars, porn stars and trucker 'staches, your side burns, beards and and stubbly upper lips. The Wet Secrets present: "Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache, Asshole: A contest about growing facial hair so we can put it in a video." We've noticed a recent swelling of the snot catcher, a real uprising of the lip caterpillar, that seems to permeate every facet of fashion and style as we know it. What do you call yours? How do you groom it? How long does it take you to grow one? Which famous moustache celebrity do you most resemble?
Dish all your moustachery photos and videos to caitlin@sixshooterrecords.com.
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Justin Rutledge/Six Shooter web contest
Justin Rutledge chose the title of Guy Vanderhaeghe's short story collection Man Descending for his new and completely wonderful release. Got any book titles that you think would make great album titles?
Email us at fire@sixshooterrecords.com with your best idea for a chance to win two tickets to Justin's CD Release Party at Trinity St. Paul's Centre on Friday, May 30.
The early bird may get the worm, but the smart bird gets to sleep in and gets a chance to win tickets to see Justin with special guest Melissa McClelland. That's way better than a worm, don't you think?
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NEWSLETTER CONTEST
In light of the release of The Wet Secrets' 'Rock Fantasy', we have been thinking a lot about what our own rock fantasies would be. I personally would love to be the one who got swirl around the food colouring on the projector at a Rush concert. That would be fun! And trippy... duuuuuuuude!
So for this month's contest, we want to hear about your Rock Fantasy! Most radical rock fantasy as judged by our discerning taste in humour will win a prize of some sort. Oh, and winning the prize canÕt be your fantasy.
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CONTEST WINNER
Winner of last month's contest goes to long time Six Shooter support and uber Luke Doucet fan, Joanne Hughes from Ottawa:
As the Producer of the Lumiere Lantern Festival (www.lumiereottawa.com) I can attest that the best use of shitty Cd's is to turn them into magical lanterns! Take 5 Cd's, use four to make the walls of a cube and use 1 on the bottom. Attach with hot glue and also glue a foil tart tin into the bottom. Use a tea light in the tart tin. These can be placed on the ground or hung from trees. Voila! The candle light reflects of the metal surface and makes a wonderful glow. We use them at our festival and welcome donations of shitty Cd's!
--Joanne Hughes, Ottawa
For this months contest, we are looking for the most awe-inspiring story of your first introduction to the Six Shooter experience. Was it watching Luke rip a face-melter back in his Veal days? was it falling in love with JustinÕs dashing good looks on a streetcar? Was it the first time you heard Martin Tielli? Or was it more recently when you happened across a backyard BBQ jam at the Six Shooter store? We want to hear about it!
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THE FUN NEVER ENDS AT SIX SHOOTER
Wow, you guys sure had fun with that Schumann contest. We got so many entries! But the winner is Heather Pollock, who won by a nose, with the following entries:
(Alfred E.) Newman
(I've got the) flu man
(In the morning I) poo man
You gotta give her credit for finding a rhyme that even rhymezone.com wouldn't have offered up. Poo Man? This is possibly the best contest entry we've received! Not because it's lowbrow, but because it both addresses the contest criteria, AND a totally hilarious bodily function, AND demonstrates how our readers are smart enough to get enough fiber to stay regular, AND works well with our motto of "Life Is Too Short To Listen To Shitty Music". Bravo, Heather, bravo!
Of course we all know that the thought is what counts when gift giving is concerned. This is a given. But what do you do when your Great Aunt twice removed finds out that you are a music fan and decides to use her own judgment when buying you an album at Wal-Mart for Christmas? The local record store knows the score, and they aren't going to buy your crap, so you've gotta get creative!
So, this month's contest is this:
We are looking for the most creative use for a shitty CD that's crowding up the underside of your tree. A coaster isn't good enough, we want crafty ideas for what to do with that waste of packaging and unlistenable garbage that makes even the least discerning laser recoil in fear.
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November Contest 07
First person to send me five things that rhyme with Schumann wins some cool shit. I might accept three, weÕll see how it goes.
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CONTEST WEINER
Ok, so we got a whole ton of responses to our hangover cure contest, and most of them were quite convincing and surprisingly practical. You must all really be a bunch of lushes! We were so impressed by your hangover prowess, that we decided to put all the entries on our website. the winners however are Kristiana Clemes + Andrea-Jane Cornell from CKUT, who together gave us four entries that we can wholeheartedly agree with:
1) the traditional: gatorade (red), buttered toast, 1 fried egg with salt, 2 tylenol & a chewable vitamin C
2) the de-pickler: jamaican-style ginger beer, grilled cheese sandwich, fries and a pickle
3) the deluxe: liquid oxygen wheatgrass shake & megalife salad from "juice for life"
4) the no-frills: sex and a hot shower
My headache is going away already!
Our next contest is for all you compunerds.
Go to our myspace.com/sixshooterrecords page, add us as a friend, set our logo as your profile picture, and leave us a comment. The first person to follow through with all of these tasks gets a swanky prize and a coveted spot in our "top friends"! Whoa! The prestige!
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Hangover Cure Contest
We really need to take it chill for a minute. Our heads are throbbing, our eyes are sweating, and our bodies feel like they¹ve just run a marathon without the healthy part of running a marathon. Whoever sends us the best hangover cure (that actually works) will win a Six Shooter flask and shot glass! How appropriate!
Ok, we need a bubblebath stat,
Six Shooter Beer League
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Contest Winner
Winner of the Top Ten List draw was Richard Nolet. Congratulations, Richard! Please get in touch with us and we will send you a sweet swag pack. You can check out Richard's top ten and a swack of others at www.sixshooterrecords.com.
This time around our contest is two-fold. First the winner must provide us with the correct Flemish word for eye. Second the winner must come up with a witty caption for a t-shirt depicting a cartoon raspberry doing push-ups (an image that I inexplicably can't get out of my head). Entries will be judged based on our own skewed witty-o-meter.
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TOP TEN CONTEST
Okayee, so the winner of our "come up with a dope contest" contest is our Edmontonian pal Mary Christa O'keefe. She hit a real soft spot with us record nerds by suggesting a top-ten list inspired contest. So here is the deal, send us a list of your top ten albums of 2006, and we will do a random draw from all the entries we receive and not only print your hype list in the next issue of this vastly adored newsletter, but also send you some dope-ass prize (y'know, to be honest, I have no idea what the prizes are for these things. I'm sure the prize is totally rad, it's just not in my jurisdiction. So there ya go, if you were ever wondering, now you know why I don't get specific on the particulars of your fabulous prize). Since the actual winner will be drawn randomly, you will not get bonus points for front-loading your list with Six Shooter artists, but we will of course love you forever if we feel we've been felt.
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COME-UP-WITH-A-CONTEST CONTEST!
Alrighty-o, so this month's contest is a double-whammy of time-strapped brilliance. Here it is: whoever can come up with the best idea for a contest for the next edition of this newsletter wins this issue's contest! Woo! Please keep entries realistic and fun, we do want people to enter after all, as telling people they won a contest makes us feel warm and cuddly inside like a cup of cocoa that's been steeped with peppermint tea (try it! It's really freakin' delicious!). Whoever comes up with the best contest will win the esteemed title of honorary-temporary-contest-master and some radical Six Shooter Swagga. I do believe the proper term is booyakasha.
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AKA PURPLE, AKA LEAN
Whoa! Who knew that our readers were as hyphy as they are crunk?! We had to throw on our stunna shades to shield ourselves from the overwhelming onslaught of entries in our "sippin' on a sizzurp while ghost ridin' da whip" contest. After some very difficult deliberation, we have determined that the most ghetto fabulous entry came from our homie Charles Whaley. Congratulations!
For our next contest, I am looking for the most convincing argument that those fries would taste better if you put them inside that piece of haddock. Of course, by fries I mean macaroni, and by haddock I mean ciabatta, but please use the above terminology.
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Contest
Nobody won the last contest. We are going to put last month’s prize in a cage at the crossroads as a warning to future contest hopefuls.
For this issue, we gonna get crunk wit’ it. The first (or most hilarious) person to send us a sentence (or short paragraph) which correctly uses both the terms ‘ghost ride the whip’ and ‘sippin’ on a sizzurp’, wins some ghetto fabulous Six Shooter stuff.
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O.S.S.P.P.A.S.M. Contest May 2006
Okayee, so the winner of our O.S.S.P.P.A.S.M. contest is Steve Shikaze. The revolution is in good hands as long as Steve is packing the bags!
For our next contest we want you to create a short madlib story about Six Shooter Records and our wonderful artists! Y'know, something along the lines of: "July rolled around and finally it was time for _____ to head out on tour in the fine country of ____, where he was to perform at a chain of _____ shops called _____." or whatever. I just want something that'll look funny if I put the word "fart" in every space. ...(what do you expect? We're only six years old).
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Contestualizing
Spearhead the Six Shooter revolution! Give us a list of five essential items that you wouldn't dare leave out of your messenger bag while heading to the Official Six Shooter Peaceful Protest Against Shitty Music (O.S.S.P.P.A.S.M). The most revolutionarily hilarious list wins one of said messenger bags. word?
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Contestualized
So, the winner of our last contest, in which we asked you wonderful readers to advise us on the bizarre and highly evolved fashion habits of our neighbours to the south, is Margot Stothers! Margot gave us some valuable advice on the difference between slippers, platform slippers, and flip-flops, and when to wear each whilst visiting Honolulu. I’m sure that I will have plenty of opportunities to put that advice to use. Margot, please peruse the Six Shooter webstore and give us your top picks of fifty bucks worth of stuff and we will send it along.
How about this for a new contest: Whoever can send us the most convincing paragraph about why K-Fed’s Popo Zao is actually about Six Shooter, rather than getting one’s booty on the dancefloor, will win some sort of awesome carnage. woo!
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Don’t bug me, I’m Local: contest
In anticipation of our upcoming US launch, one of our intrepid correspondents (aka Shauna‚s sister) has been diligently researching the US market for us, and has documented a number of important observations that will no doubt be helpful in integrating with the local wildlife when we launch in America. For example, when in LA I have been informed that it is all the rage to sport a variety of interesting hats just like Uma Thurman does, perhaps even all at once, and when in NYC, our artists should either wear plaid shirts or don the double-t-shirt look. If coupled with a casual sport coat, then they are really guaranteed to have success and grace the pages of Star magazine. So our contest this month is to give us a hand and seek out the hottest American fashion tip to keep us on the cusp.
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"Write a letter to Santa" Winner
The winner of the "write a letter to Santa" contest is Dan Robichaud, whose letter was not only first, but also funniest. Yes Dan, we have passed your letter on to Santa, so hopefully he comes through and shaves that patch of hair on your back for you!
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Halloween is over? bring on the lil' Santas!
We know you will be doing all your Christmas shopping at sixshooterrecords.com, so please place your order by Dec. 1 if you're in Europe or America, and by Dec. 10 if you live in Canada. This will ensure that our elf sweatshop can keep up with your demands for awesomeness.
Here is a holly jolly contest for y'all:
Send us your letters to Santa! Not only will we forward them to the North Pole, but we will also judge them based on their relative hilarity and reward the ultimate gut-buster with a $100 shopping spree at sixshooterrecords.com!
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The Winner of "The Great Dill Caper"
The winner of "The Great Dill Caper" contest is Ashley Speer, whose simple caper-dill-butter best fit the contest criteria. We had a few entries that were disqualified because they were too fancy-pants, thus irrelevant to the broke-ass inspiration for the contest in the first place, and a few that were disqualified for their inclusion of fish (not vegetarian). I suppose I was really looking for something along the lines of hashbrowns with capers and dill served in a hot dog bun, which is a creation that I actually survived on for a couple days last month. This month I am still broke, but more on the onion tip. A couple of wednesdays ago I actually ate six entire onions in one day, and I think my total for the month is over 15. There are these people at my local farmer's market that sell big bags of vegetables for super cheap, and lately the bags have been pretty heavy on the onions, and who am I to waste? Ok, so, I don't really know how to refer to the vegetable vendors, but I'd like to know, so this month's contest is as follows: The first person to clarify the difference between Hutterites, Mennonites, and straight up Amish wins a bag of onions, or some other Six Shooter prize of equally fabulous value. We will also accept entries of undeniable proof that you have consumed more than 6 onions in one day, thus out-onioning the onion master...that being me.
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The Great Dill Caper... contest
Ok, so I am seriously on the broke tip this month and I have been eating pretty much nothing but dill and capers because that's all I have in my fridge. For example, my lunch today consisted of bucatini (still the reigning king of pastas) with dill and capers...not bad. Here is the contest: I am running out of ideas of ways to eat dill and capers, so whoever sends in the best recipe (ie. tastiest and most inventive) involving dill, capers, and not much else, wins a fabulous prize. Oh yeah, and the recipe has to be vegetarian, I don't dig on flesh. A screenplay for a short film entitled "The Great Dill Caper" will also be accepted as a valid entry, especially if accompanied by a recipe. yep.
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Contest
Did anyone check out our awesome new merch?! Holy crap we got some of the coolest stuff made, including flasks, bottle openers, and brand new full colour awesome-to-the-max beltbuckles featuring artwork by the one and only Penny Tentiary! This issue'S contest is titled "Belt Buckle Redux". Those of you who have been around for awhile probably remember that last year when we had our other rad belt buckles made we held a contest where the best photo inolving one o' them buckles won a fabu prize. Well, guess what? Same deal! If you don't already have one, go to our webstore and pick up one of these beautiful new buckles, strap it on, go skydiving or something else equally exciting, snap a photo of the buckle as you pull the ripcord or whatever, send it to us, and if your action shot is better than all the other action shots in our ridiculously selective minds, then you win somethin' totally awesome!!!! Yaaaaaay!!!!
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Contests - enjoy the difference.
The winner of the "my mac is broken...whyyyyyyyyy?" contest is TOM HIDDERLY. A lot of people responded, and pretty much everyone diagnosed the problem in the same way then said "yeah, you're screwed, I hope you have applecare", but Tom was the first person to rub it in so he wins. No I don't have applecare, thanks a lot people.
The winner of the Captain Tractor entries is the sloganizer. Ok, fine, "Wake up to a Yellowhead" is probably not that appropriate for a beer ad.
The real winner, and only slightly more (or less) appropriate entry goes to David Chapman's "It doesn't come in a supercan, but you'll get hosed!', which might actually get censored to "pour me another". In any case, that guy wins.
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APRIL CONTEST:
In the last newsletter we asked you to write a haiku detailing Six Shooter's global takeover. This was a very difficult contest to judge, we received some really great ones. In the end, we chose this one by Lina Scott/Evelyn Shift (it seems she has two names) because it is to the point, it ties in with our slogan, and it makes us sound super bad-ass (which we are):
The stars will foretell
of disaster that looms high
for nogood music
Yeah! What she said! Watch your back shitty music, we're coming to stomp ya!
speaking of haikus:
Is Justin Handsome?
Luke a baby faced phenom?
Nik Kozub says yes
The winning entry in the come-up-with-a-slogan-for-Captain-Tractor's-new-beer contest was:
"Man, Captain Tractor is like totally sweet! Let's get waaaasted!"
Unfortunately, we found out that this wonderful entry was submitted by a Six Shooter employee and it was promptly disqualified (we run a tight ship around here). Ok, well, what really happened was that all the entries we received for this contest sucked. Try harder. No offense. Until we receive a better slogan the official tag line will be:
"When we say Yellowhead, we don't mean a pus-filled zit!"
Our prior promise of prizes for the clever individual who comes up with something that won't gross out potential customers still stands.
New Contest : The first mac guru who can tell me why the display on my ibook shuts off if I open it more than a third of the way (thus making me endure the hardship of holding my laptop funny and looking like a total dork while I write this newsletter) and how to fix the problem by myself wins my gratitude and the Six Shooter album of their choice. Bonus points will be awarded if you can tell me why my trackpad sometimes freezes until I plug in a mouse. aaaargh.
Alternate Contest : Let's see just how smart you are. Whoever can draft up the most accurate Six Shooter family tree wins a fabulous prize. Who plays in which Six Shooter bands, and how are they connected? Dig?
So all in all, there are THREE contests you can win this month. Yay!
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Dude, put your pants back on contest winners
The winner of the Tielli Day jpeg contest is...the naked guy! While we really loved all the time and effort that went into the overwhelming number of entries that we received for this contest, the guy who judged the contest this time got suckered in by the cheap laugh. The winner is Fabian, whose drunken interpretation of White Sock Day left us stunned. Well done? The photo really is priceless and reflects the true spirit of Tielli Day. Our wiener winner wins a Six Shooter t-shirt and a set of Martin Tielli Christmas cards!
Surprisingly, we also have a winner in the moldy rye bread essay contest. For her efforts in saving a Six Shooter employee from eating something truly disgusting, Lydia in Victoria will receive a lovely Six Shooter toque!
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MARCH CONTEST:
Whoever can send us the best by-line for Captain Tractor's new beer (Captain Tractor's Yellowhead Wheat Ale) wins super awesome new Captain Tractor merch.
Alternate contest:
Whoever writes the best haiku (as judged by us) about Six Shooter records taking over the world wins a copy of our latest releases. Limericks will be disqualified.
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February contest!
Ok, here is the skill testing question:
If you buy a loaf of rye bread and you eat some of it, but then you get busy for a few days and when you come back to your rye bread it has gotten a little moldy on the crust but not the middle part (and you are going to grill that sandwich anyway and surely the purple bit couldn't stand the intense heat of the panini maker) is it acceptable to just tear off the crusts and giver? Will it cure malaria?
Answers must be in proper essay form. Most convincing essay wins various stuff.
alternate contest:
February 25th is Whitesox Day! That's right, it's Martin Tielli's birthday! I urge everyone to have a Galoise Blue and don their white socks in this great man's honour. The first person to email us a pair of white socks and a Galoise wins a pair of white socks and a Galoise. Ok, I've just been told that the interweb can't handle that kind of so-called "bandwidth". Soooo, send us a jpeg (ooooo...the future...) of a birthday card for our pal Martin, or a jpeg of you and your Galoise Blue, and the greatest entry (as judged by us) will receive a Martin Tielli themed present.
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Contest Winner!
The winner of last month's contest is James Whitton. And he doesn't even know he is the winner because we have been so gall durned busy that we forgot to tell him. Although James really needs to learn what a split infinitive is (who doesn't?!), he is clearly on the ball...he had a resolution for pretty much all of our artists, and his was the first one we received. His answers:
Captain Tractor - To finally return those empties!!
Christine Fellows - To take up curling.
Ford Pier - To finally master the art of juggling bowling pins.
Luke Doucet - To find out the truth - is he related to legendary Canadian guitarist Jerry Doucette?
Martin Tielli - To personally paint each and every CD cover that he releases in the next year.
NQ Arbuckle - To finally lay to rest the rumour that he is in no way related to crusty the clown.
Richard Buckner - To finally reach Cohen-ism and be known around the world as a ladies man.
Veal - To really reconsider that vegan diet.
Justin Rutledge - To get the Rheos' to be his full-time backing band.
Michael Philip Wojewoda - To broaden his horizons and start exclusively producing ring tones for cell phone users.
Rheostatics - To time travel 99 years in the future to see how correct they actually were.
The Weakerthans - To reinvent themselves as The Ruttles.
I'm sure all the artists will really take James's answers to heart and change their evil ways.
James wins a Six Shooter toque (don't worry, when the snow melts you can start a nu-metal band!), a Luke Doucet t-shirt, and the new albums by Justin Rutledge and NQ Arbuckle. Hoodiggity!
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NEW YEAR, NEW CONTEST!
Ok, so whoever sends us the tiniest origami swan wins a pickle on a stick. Actually, nevermind, we’ll save that contest for later. How about this, whoever can come up with the most fitting new years resolution for each of our artists will win a limited edition Six Shooter toque and something else awesome that we are still deciding on (but it will certainly be awesome).
Speaking of contests and wieners, er...winners rather, the winner of our last contest (quote 6 lyrics from the Six Shooter catalogue pertaining to winter) is none other than...Mary O'Connell! She wins herself one of the aforementioned limited Six Shooter toques and a Luke Doucet t-shirt, despite the fact that she only actually quoted two Six Shooter artists for her total of 6 quotes (Martin Tielli twice and the Rheostatics four times).
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December contest!
It's freakin' cold, so we thought we'd have some fun with that. Choose any or all six shooter artist(s), and cite lyrical references to winter (ie. snow, ice, cold, frozen, Christmas, December, etc.). The first person to send me six qualifying quotes will win a bitchin' six shooter prize pack.
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Calculamations
Wow, the response to the Rheothmatics Mathstatic contest was overwhelming! Hundreds of hopefuls hopped on their abacuses (yes, the plural of abacus is indeed abacuses, I actually looked it up to make sure), and most of the participants even got it right-ish.
The correct answer was, of course, 62.5! here is a breakdown of the digit rock:
a. Yes album: 90125
b. Van Halen album: 5150
c. Rush album: 2112
d. Rheo's album: 2067
90125 divided by 5150 = 17.5
17.5 + 2112 = 2129.5
2129.5 - 2067 = 62.5
The contest winner was Tom "smarty pants" Woods of Vancouver, who calculated the answer within a couple of minutes. Tom is a bonafide rock and roll lawyer, which, as far as we know, means that he does lawyer stuff but still finds time to trash hotel rooms with his buddies.
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Buckle Up
The winner of the belt buckle photo contest is Deb Cupples from Colorado Springs. Deb'll get a full Six Shooter catalogue and a very limited edition vinyl poster created by nikseven ( www.nrmlswlcm.com ), featuring a double-Tielli head.
Deb's stunning photo was an accidental candid self-shot in which she was caught chewing on her belt buckle like a taco chip. We tried this out ourselves and found that the Six Shooter belt buckles really don't taste that good, and found it honorable that Deb would put herself in harm's way just for us. Bonus points were awarded for wearing a Tielli t-shirt in the pic.
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New Contest!
We are so excited about Luke's new live record that all of us here at Six Shooter have found ourselves spacing out and drawing pictures of the hunky stud-muffin. We figure that all of you must be doing the same so we decided to see who has the best pencil crayon skills. Whoever sends us the best (and by best we mean most entertaining) drawing of Luke Doucet in action wins a fabulous prize: Luke's new live record, Veal's Embattled Hearts record, Luke's Aloha Manitoba record, a Six Shooter compilation CD, and the glory of having your beautiful artwork posted on the Six Shooter website. Yaaaaa!
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FORD PIER VOCABULARY CONTEST
The winner of the Ford Pier vocabulary contest goes to Jonathan Fazakerley, who came up with the following definitions of words found in Ford Pier lyrics:
Fealty = Fidelity to one's lord
Clemency = A merciful, kind, or lenient act.
Diaphanous = Of such fine texture as to be transparent or translucent
Perpend = To consider carefully; ponder.
His response when announcing that he won!
...
"WOW!!!
I never suspected... I mean I just never thought it would happen to me... I have so many people to thank ... (crinkle crinkle) I would like to thank
Jesus for always being there in those terribly dark painful hours... and I would also like to thank Shauna de Cartier for being there at the happy
times.. We did it Shauna, we finally did it!! I would also like to thank Six Shooter Records, without them there would be no side walks for children to walk on. Good work to all of you!! You are all saints of the highest order."
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